Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
