I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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