I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
This is the high leading the old right now
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
