I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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