it was like his penis was on wheels.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
this hospital has no fireball
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
