I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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