just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
