Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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