her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
