i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Sorry my hands just texted you
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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