Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
