I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize