quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
And the cops told us we were all naked.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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