just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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