Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize