soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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