hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
