the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
