yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
