He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
