I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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