My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
