No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
