No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
