This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
