Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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