bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
