are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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