would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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