ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
