yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
