woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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