I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
