Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
