Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
