The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
ttyl tear gas
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
