God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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