I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
