I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
