so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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