Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
