I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
