Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
