this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
