Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
