You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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