sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
