3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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