What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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