I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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