Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
