I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
