omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
