so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
