my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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