it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
