if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
