just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
