Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
