That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
cat food counts as protein by the way
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
