His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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